Anyway enough of my pompous opinions!
Not so long ago there was a teacher we shall call Mr S. who had fell into the same trap. But, being a determined young man he was hell bent on making 'news' exciting. So with this sudden inspiration he strides to the library and found a book called Baloney. Now this book was named as such due to the main character speaks utter baloney! For example:
It all starts when a zimulis is misplaced. It is on a deski in a torakku on the way to szkola, and suddenly the torakku goes past! Henry grabbed his zimulis and jumped out, right onto a razzo launch pad. He opened the pordo and landed on the next razzo while it was blasting off.
Wow - how could you fail to enjoy all of that silly language? Thought Mr. S.
He read the book to the class and they loved it! They laughed and made up 'baloney' words of their own and Mr. S soaked it all in, then like a cat saw his chance and pounced!
"Could anyone think of a 'baloney' word and put it in their news?" He gave a couple of examples
I dropped my pencil became I dropped my pimputle!
The children lapped it up and instantly began to write the most strange and beautiful sentences.
THEN IT HAPPENED!!!!
One little boy called M was very excited to show Mr. S his sentence (as he normally doesn't like writing, so you can imagine how proud he was).
How great am I though Mr. S even the kids who don't want to write are loving it! GEEEEENNNNNIIIUUUUSSSS!!!
Then he read the sentence and near fell of his chair!
It read (and remember children write phonetically so it wasn't spelt exactly correctly).
"I stayed at home all weekend and played with my nob."
Mr. S "Oh M which is your baloney word?"
Mr. S "Are you sure you don't want to change that word M?"
M "I'm sure."
So then it got a little worse as Mr. S inevitably had to ask M to draw a picture of himself playing with his nob, just to find out what he meant by that word!
Then it got even worse as M drew a picture of himself playing a game with his brother, so he basically has nicknamed his brother as a knob!
I literally laughed for 2 hours straight hearing Mr. S tell this story.
Kudos to Mr S as he, even with this slight discrepancy, made news fun!
Say it together everyone: